Personal Pain - "I can see it in your eyes."

A friend once told me that he could see the pain in my eyes. I didn't connect with what he said at the time. I have considered his statement a few times since but it never seemed a priority to explore. Lately though it took on a whole new meaning. It was no longer something to ignore. I saw how I had let personal pain fester in my whole being until it threatened to cause an emotional breakdown.


I recall looking at a Facebook friend's pictures a while back and as I looked at one photo I almost broke into tears. I could see the pain in his eyes and it reminded me of what my friend told me so long ago about myself. 


This past week I Googled the words, "Personal Pain", and this quote by Saint Bartholomew came up. It was exactly what I needed to hear that day and it made so much sense.


"Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling with the mistaken belief that you cannot bear the pain. But you have already borne the pain. What you have not done is feel all you are beyond the pain."


I did that, I spent so much of my life running from feeling the pain when in reality I have already borne that pain. The pain was heavy for sure and I still wonder how some of it didn't destroy me; thinking about it makes me shudder. I did survive and it wasn't just my doing or a result of my survival skills. God was there I know and He has always been there. Now I have to stop and recognize who and what I am beyond the pain. That is made much easier when I know I am not alone and I that I can depend on the Lord to be my wisdom and strength.